My 12 Step Program
Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Dreams
Had one of those stupid "gotta pick up a white chip" dreams last night. The worst part was I dreamed that a guy I know in my home group was having REAL issues. Mine was an "accidental" drinking of a beer. Still sucked. ¶ 4/30/2002 06:02:00 AM
Had one of those stupid "gotta pick up a white chip" dreams last night. The worst part was I dreamed that a guy I know in my home group was having REAL issues. Mine was an "accidental" drinking of a beer. Still sucked. ¶ 4/30/2002 06:02:00 AM
Today's thought is:
We are utterly powerless to offer ourselves or those we love
protection ...from our necessary losses.
--Judith Viorst
We all travel a journey of letting go and moving on to different
people, places, and things. The older we get, the more we realize
we can't always expect life to go our way or to keep on going the
same way without change. Facing disappointments and accepting
the reality of what we don't get is part of life. It isn't easy to grieve
and accept our "necessary losses."
When we look back over our years we can begin to see a tapestry
that makes more sense now than it did when we were going
through it. Yes, there is a meaningful and lovely pattern to the big
picture. This knowledge of an overall rightness of our direction
helps us face the coming years more wisely. We now find that we
are surviving life pretty well in spite of ourselves and are starting
to relax enough to let in some joy. We are beginning to see
tomorrow more as an advantage than a trial.
Today, let me understand the freedom I will get as I accept the
concept of necessary losses. ¶ 4/30/2002 06:00:00 AM
We are utterly powerless to offer ourselves or those we love
protection ...from our necessary losses.
--Judith Viorst
We all travel a journey of letting go and moving on to different
people, places, and things. The older we get, the more we realize
we can't always expect life to go our way or to keep on going the
same way without change. Facing disappointments and accepting
the reality of what we don't get is part of life. It isn't easy to grieve
and accept our "necessary losses."
When we look back over our years we can begin to see a tapestry
that makes more sense now than it did when we were going
through it. Yes, there is a meaningful and lovely pattern to the big
picture. This knowledge of an overall rightness of our direction
helps us face the coming years more wisely. We now find that we
are surviving life pretty well in spite of ourselves and are starting
to relax enough to let in some joy. We are beginning to see
tomorrow more as an advantage than a trial.
Today, let me understand the freedom I will get as I accept the
concept of necessary losses. ¶ 4/30/2002 06:00:00 AM
Monday, April 29, 2002
Weekend
There was a big AA gathering at Ft. DeSoto this weekend. My family went and camped the night before, made a large meeting that night, and (after camping) was too tired to go to the festivities the next day.
It was a great weekend over all though. I am learning to meditate more.
I heard a guy at the mtg say that he puts him human knees, on the earthly ground, and it makes a direct connection with the Heavenly Father. I liked that idea. I have always had a thing about getting on my knees. I really didn't see the reason for it. I like that idea though. I have to think about Step 9 tonight. Need to continue with my amends. ¶ 4/29/2002 02:51:00 PM
There was a big AA gathering at Ft. DeSoto this weekend. My family went and camped the night before, made a large meeting that night, and (after camping) was too tired to go to the festivities the next day.
It was a great weekend over all though. I am learning to meditate more.
I heard a guy at the mtg say that he puts him human knees, on the earthly ground, and it makes a direct connection with the Heavenly Father. I liked that idea. I have always had a thing about getting on my knees. I really didn't see the reason for it. I like that idea though. I have to think about Step 9 tonight. Need to continue with my amends. ¶ 4/29/2002 02:51:00 PM
Saturday, April 27, 2002
Today's thought is:
Developing ourselves
We must realize in our hearts that we are becoming better people.
We do this by using our highest standards and making our best
efforts. We do this, in part, by turning our lives over to God, who
will guide us if we sincerely ask.
As we develop, we find we're offering much more to life than just
avoiding mood-altering drugs. We are coming to love others and
to help them by thinking, feeling, and behaving maturely in all
situations.
Am I developing into a better person?
Higher Power, help me realize that my new life is not just about
changing my past but about developing my future as well.
Today I will work on developing myself by …
Being accepting of things I cannot change ¶ 4/27/2002 05:44:00 AM
Developing ourselves
We must realize in our hearts that we are becoming better people.
We do this by using our highest standards and making our best
efforts. We do this, in part, by turning our lives over to God, who
will guide us if we sincerely ask.
As we develop, we find we're offering much more to life than just
avoiding mood-altering drugs. We are coming to love others and
to help them by thinking, feeling, and behaving maturely in all
situations.
Am I developing into a better person?
Higher Power, help me realize that my new life is not just about
changing my past but about developing my future as well.
Today I will work on developing myself by …
Being accepting of things I cannot change ¶ 4/27/2002 05:44:00 AM
Thursday, April 25, 2002
Saturday, April 20, 2002
Today's thought is:
Compassion doesn't mean taking care of people.
Feeling compassion for a friend in pain is a loving way to respond.
It softens the harsh edges of reality for the sufferer as well as for
ourselves. Trying to take away the pain, however, is not
appropriate. Each of us is on a journey of experiences and
opportunities that will help us grow and fulfill God's plan for our
lives. What we learn from the difficult steps we have to take is
part of the plan.
It's not always easy to draw the line between showing compassion
and trying to solve a friend's problem. Some of us have made it a
practice to intrude on other people's lives. Neither they nor we
have been helped by it. Learning how to maintain healthy
boundaries between ourselves and others is part of our journey
today. Practicing this kind of compassion will give us growth.
I will show compassion today by maintaining healthy boundaries
and not intruding on other people's lives.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
A Life of My Own by Karen Casey copyright 1993
available through our online bookstore at:
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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ¶ 4/20/2002 07:23:00 AM
Friday, April 19, 2002
Life is good!
¶ 4/19/2002 05:35:00 PM
Friday, April 12, 2002
Thursday, April 11, 2002
HCV Hepatitis Anonymous - 12 Steps - Home Page - Hep C Virus - 12 Steps & Meetings
¶ 4/11/2002 03:18:00 PM
PEG Treatment for Hep C
I have been on pegylated interferon and ribaviron for 6 months. This treatment (pure hell) was to attempt to subdue my Hep C virus
I'm a 1 a, with Stage 4 and consistently normal liver enzyme levels (they say they are normal because the liver has stopped fighting the virus). Did my six month viral load check and it hasn't helped at all. I went through 6 months of BAD freakin' side effects too.
My viral load before starting was right at a million. The Doc said they have a new way of reporting the viral load now and that mine was 38 units. Does anyone understand that???
Anyway, he has taken me off the PEG. I stopped taking my Ambien a couple of weeks ago, I think it was adding to my depression, but I have been taking 40 mg of oxycontin twice a day. Now I have to work on getting off of that stuff.
I was just diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel and severe pinched nerves, so I don't know what I am going to have to go through with that.
I am kinda happy not to have to suffer another six months, but I wonder where this really leaves me...............
At least I'm not drinking, praise God!
¶ 4/11/2002 02:31:00 PM
I have been on pegylated interferon and ribaviron for 6 months. This treatment (pure hell) was to attempt to subdue my Hep C virus
I'm a 1 a, with Stage 4 and consistently normal liver enzyme levels (they say they are normal because the liver has stopped fighting the virus). Did my six month viral load check and it hasn't helped at all. I went through 6 months of BAD freakin' side effects too.
My viral load before starting was right at a million. The Doc said they have a new way of reporting the viral load now and that mine was 38 units. Does anyone understand that???
Anyway, he has taken me off the PEG. I stopped taking my Ambien a couple of weeks ago, I think it was adding to my depression, but I have been taking 40 mg of oxycontin twice a day. Now I have to work on getting off of that stuff.
I was just diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel and severe pinched nerves, so I don't know what I am going to have to go through with that.
I am kinda happy not to have to suffer another six months, but I wonder where this really leaves me...............
At least I'm not drinking, praise God!
¶ 4/11/2002 02:31:00 PM
Monday, April 08, 2002
Saturday, April 06, 2002
As I have said before..........I get these daily thoughts from Hazelton.....You can sign up for them there too!!
Today's thought is:
You need few basic things for a vital age: purposes and projects,
and bonds of intimacy.
--Betty Friedan
Feeling needed is what it all adds up to. We didn't doubt our value
when we were raising our families and bringing home a paycheck.
We knew we were needed when a child or parent or spouse came
to us for advice. Friends sharing their innermost secrets with us
made us feel special, too. But now, none of these things may be
prevalent in our lives. It's not unusual for people our age to feel
worthless. The responsibility for changing that feeling rests with us.
If being involved, whether on the job or with friends, gave our
lives meaning when we were young, we at least have an
understanding of how to regain that sense of well-being now. We
certainly don't need a job to do it, but we do need to make an
offering of some kind to the world at large. And we must have a
friend, a confidant, we share ourselves with fully. Knowing that
we make a difference in someone's life, anyone's life, gets us out of
bed and on the bus every morning.
It's not all that hard to find a project or a friend. We simply have
to want to.
I will enrich my life by sharing it with someone else today. I don't
even have to know who this person will be until I "get there."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Timeless Wisdom by Karen Casey copyright 2001
¶ 4/06/2002 07:30:00 AM
Today's thought is:
You need few basic things for a vital age: purposes and projects,
and bonds of intimacy.
--Betty Friedan
Feeling needed is what it all adds up to. We didn't doubt our value
when we were raising our families and bringing home a paycheck.
We knew we were needed when a child or parent or spouse came
to us for advice. Friends sharing their innermost secrets with us
made us feel special, too. But now, none of these things may be
prevalent in our lives. It's not unusual for people our age to feel
worthless. The responsibility for changing that feeling rests with us.
If being involved, whether on the job or with friends, gave our
lives meaning when we were young, we at least have an
understanding of how to regain that sense of well-being now. We
certainly don't need a job to do it, but we do need to make an
offering of some kind to the world at large. And we must have a
friend, a confidant, we share ourselves with fully. Knowing that
we make a difference in someone's life, anyone's life, gets us out of
bed and on the bus every morning.
It's not all that hard to find a project or a friend. We simply have
to want to.
I will enrich my life by sharing it with someone else today. I don't
even have to know who this person will be until I "get there."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Timeless Wisdom by Karen Casey copyright 2001
¶ 4/06/2002 07:30:00 AM
Tuesday, April 02, 2002
Monday, April 01, 2002
9th Step
It has been a while since I have actually talked about my sobriety or the treatment I am going through for Hepatitis C. I have just added here the thoughts I get from Hazelton or TGIS.
So I will write a quick update.
I am still working on Step 9. I have started my amends and it has been fine. I am going to write my sister an amends letter, not meant for mailing. Then go over it with my sponsor.
I am still going to my Noon mtg every day. I love it there, but I really should get out to more other meetings.
I am really grateful to be sober, NOW I want to get off this PEG treatment for my Hep C and attempt to live like a normal person. That stuff has made me very sick this last 6 months. ¶ 4/01/2002 02:55:00 PM
It has been a while since I have actually talked about my sobriety or the treatment I am going through for Hepatitis C. I have just added here the thoughts I get from Hazelton or TGIS.
So I will write a quick update.
I am still working on Step 9. I have started my amends and it has been fine. I am going to write my sister an amends letter, not meant for mailing. Then go over it with my sponsor.
I am still going to my Noon mtg every day. I love it there, but I really should get out to more other meetings.
I am really grateful to be sober, NOW I want to get off this PEG treatment for my Hep C and attempt to live like a normal person. That stuff has made me very sick this last 6 months. ¶ 4/01/2002 02:55:00 PM
Alcoholics Anonymous & Alcoholics Anonymous History: Dick B.'s Materials on A.A.'s Bible Roots
¶ 4/01/2002 02:42:00 PM
There are some good links at Online AA Recovery Resources!! Plus some downloadable stuff.
¶ 4/01/2002 02:14:00 PM
I got this from T.G.I.S..............I will put a link on here where you can get a weekly news letter........
My original commitment in sobriety was to practise the 12 steps to the best of my ability but most of the time I fall short of perfect adhereance to those principles. There are days when the only program I am capable of working is to just get to a meeting. I show up. I have nothing of any great importance to contribute. I am not speaking or chairing, I did not get asked to take part in any of the readings, I did not help in setting up chairs, I just show up.
My day may not have been the greatest. I may be tired, there might be something I would rather watch on T.V. and I can give myself a ton of excuses of why I don't need to get to a meeting. I put that aside, and show up.
Most of the time I leave feeling better than I did before going. There is a power in the rooms that cannot be easily described and if I didn't show up I loose out on that. Sometimes I get what I needed to hear in a single sentence someone says. Often I hear a message of hope and encouragement that totally turns things around for me. I would miss all that if I didn't just show up.
The newcomer who 30 days ago listened to me explain to him all he had to do to get a start in the program was not have the first drink and get to a meeting might be left wondering why I didn't just show up. By carrying ourselves to a meeting we are carrying a message indirectly.
I guess there is a tiny message in this TGIS after all. If things are not going your way, if your emotional and spiritual balance are in question, if you think there is nothing else you can get from the program because you heard it all before, try a little harder, stay a little longer but more important,
Just Show Up
You can never tell what message you might have missed, what you might learn, or how your Higher Power might reveal himself if you do not ...
Just Show Up
¶ 4/01/2002 08:42:00 AM
My original commitment in sobriety was to practise the 12 steps to the best of my ability but most of the time I fall short of perfect adhereance to those principles. There are days when the only program I am capable of working is to just get to a meeting. I show up. I have nothing of any great importance to contribute. I am not speaking or chairing, I did not get asked to take part in any of the readings, I did not help in setting up chairs, I just show up.
My day may not have been the greatest. I may be tired, there might be something I would rather watch on T.V. and I can give myself a ton of excuses of why I don't need to get to a meeting. I put that aside, and show up.
Most of the time I leave feeling better than I did before going. There is a power in the rooms that cannot be easily described and if I didn't show up I loose out on that. Sometimes I get what I needed to hear in a single sentence someone says. Often I hear a message of hope and encouragement that totally turns things around for me. I would miss all that if I didn't just show up.
The newcomer who 30 days ago listened to me explain to him all he had to do to get a start in the program was not have the first drink and get to a meeting might be left wondering why I didn't just show up. By carrying ourselves to a meeting we are carrying a message indirectly.
I guess there is a tiny message in this TGIS after all. If things are not going your way, if your emotional and spiritual balance are in question, if you think there is nothing else you can get from the program because you heard it all before, try a little harder, stay a little longer but more important,
Just Show Up
You can never tell what message you might have missed, what you might learn, or how your Higher Power might reveal himself if you do not ...
Just Show Up
¶ 4/01/2002 08:42:00 AM
