My 12 Step Program
Saturday, June 30, 2001
Too tired for a meeting tonight, but very much at peace. Have made some good decisions today. My daughter (who has to hit her own bottom) called for help and instead of me running over there and trying to take control, I let Leroy (my husband) go. She wasn't even there when he got there, but if I would have went I probably would have tracked her down (she was hysterical when she called) and it would have been trouble. I have to learn to let God have control, and I am a REALLY working on that!
¶ 6/30/2001 08:22:00 PM
Daily Reflections
SACRIFICE=UNITY=SURVIVAL
The unity, with effectiveness, and even the survival of A.A. will always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare. Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so does sacrifice mean unity and survival for the group and for A.A.'s entire Fellowship.
I have learned the I must sacrifice some of my personality traits for the good of A.A. and, as a result, I have been rewarded with many gifts. False pride can be inflated through prestige but, by living Tradition Six, I receive the gift of humility instead. Cooperation without affiliation is often deceiving. If I remain unrelated to outside interests, I am free to keep A.A. autonomous. the the Fellowship will be here, healthy and strong for generations to come.
¶ 6/30/2001 04:12:00 PM
SACRIFICE=UNITY=SURVIVAL
The unity, with effectiveness, and even the survival of A.A. will always depend upon our continued willingness to give up some of our personal ambitions and desires for the common safety and welfare. Just as sacrifice means survival for the individual alcoholic, so does sacrifice mean unity and survival for the group and for A.A.'s entire Fellowship.
I have learned the I must sacrifice some of my personality traits for the good of A.A. and, as a result, I have been rewarded with many gifts. False pride can be inflated through prestige but, by living Tradition Six, I receive the gift of humility instead. Cooperation without affiliation is often deceiving. If I remain unrelated to outside interests, I am free to keep A.A. autonomous. the the Fellowship will be here, healthy and strong for generations to come.
¶ 6/30/2001 04:12:00 PM
Friday, June 29, 2001
Step One: Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that are lives have become unmanageable.
Admitting that I am powerless over anything has always been a problem for me. I am a control freak from the word go. Am I powerless over alcohol????? Can I drink like a "normal person? Can I drink without it being a problem? Once I get started can I stop? The truth of the matter is I can drink like a "normal" person for a while. A short while. Then I start needing more to get a buzz (that goes on for a while) and then I don't want to stop once I start. At this point I don't know if I "could" because I don't "want" to. So at this point does alcohol have control, am I powerless over it? Yes, I am.
Next point.....Admit that my life has become unmanageable. Was it ever manageable? Is anyone in total control over their life? We can be to a certain extent, but life kind of controls itself in certain respects. We cannot control everything that happens to us. We can attempt to manage with what we have to manage with. At the point where I was drinking was my life unmanageable? Well I ended up in freaking jail based on a decision I made while under the influence of alcohol, so I would damn well say it was pretty freaking unmanageable. I cannot take sole responsibility for what happened, but I may not have made the choices I did that night had it not been for my being under the influence. So whose fault was it? Mine---I was obviously out of control--*OUCH* that hurts!
I truly believe that without the help of God, my life is unmanageable. Now, I have to read in the Big Book, the chapter to the Agnostics and look for sections able an unmanageable life, and powerlessness.
Am I in control now..........................H*LL no!! God is ;-)! ¶ 6/29/2001 04:00:00 PM
Admitting that I am powerless over anything has always been a problem for me. I am a control freak from the word go. Am I powerless over alcohol????? Can I drink like a "normal person? Can I drink without it being a problem? Once I get started can I stop? The truth of the matter is I can drink like a "normal" person for a while. A short while. Then I start needing more to get a buzz (that goes on for a while) and then I don't want to stop once I start. At this point I don't know if I "could" because I don't "want" to. So at this point does alcohol have control, am I powerless over it? Yes, I am.
Next point.....Admit that my life has become unmanageable. Was it ever manageable? Is anyone in total control over their life? We can be to a certain extent, but life kind of controls itself in certain respects. We cannot control everything that happens to us. We can attempt to manage with what we have to manage with. At the point where I was drinking was my life unmanageable? Well I ended up in freaking jail based on a decision I made while under the influence of alcohol, so I would damn well say it was pretty freaking unmanageable. I cannot take sole responsibility for what happened, but I may not have made the choices I did that night had it not been for my being under the influence. So whose fault was it? Mine---I was obviously out of control--*OUCH* that hurts!
I truly believe that without the help of God, my life is unmanageable. Now, I have to read in the Big Book, the chapter to the Agnostics and look for sections able an unmanageable life, and powerlessness.
Am I in control now..........................H*LL no!! God is ;-)! ¶ 6/29/2001 04:00:00 PM
Honestly.........I would like to steal all of this, but someone worked hard on it.......and I am working on my "honesty" thing, but take a look at Alcoholics Anonymous 3rd Edition (The Big Book). Interesting stuff!
¶ 6/29/2001 02:07:00 PM
From the AA Daily Reflections Book
Having learned to live so happily, we'd show everyone else how.....Yes, we of A.A. did dream those dreams. How natural that was, since most alcoholics are bankrupt idealists.....So why shouldn't we share our way of life with everyone?
The great discovery of sobriety led me to feel the need to spread the good news to the world around me. The grandiose thoughts of my drinking days returned. Later, I learned that concentrating on my own recovery was a full time process. As I became a sober citizen in this world, I observed a rippling effect which, without any conscious effort on my part, reached any "related facility or outside enterprise," without diverting me from my primary purpose of staying sober and helping other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. ¶ 6/29/2001 11:02:00 AM
Having learned to live so happily, we'd show everyone else how.....Yes, we of A.A. did dream those dreams. How natural that was, since most alcoholics are bankrupt idealists.....So why shouldn't we share our way of life with everyone?
The great discovery of sobriety led me to feel the need to spread the good news to the world around me. The grandiose thoughts of my drinking days returned. Later, I learned that concentrating on my own recovery was a full time process. As I became a sober citizen in this world, I observed a rippling effect which, without any conscious effort on my part, reached any "related facility or outside enterprise," without diverting me from my primary purpose of staying sober and helping other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. ¶ 6/29/2001 11:02:00 AM
