My 12 Step Program
Wednesday, November 28, 2001
Monday, November 26, 2001
THE DAILY GURU SPEAKS
That which is not of our habitual nature has power to cure our habitual nature,
and is always ready to do so, whether we call it God, Truth, Reality, Cosmic
Energy or anything else.
You should never give up on Truth, for Truth never gives up on you.
A man who takes a side can never know the truth. Truth is above all man-made
sides and positions. Where there is Side A there must be Side B, which creates
conflict. Truth has nothing to do with conflict. This cosmic principle frightens
immature thinkers, for they take sides in order to gain feelings of importance
and individualism. They fight back by asking, 'How can life go on unless we
develop opposing sides? We can then select the features from both sides which we
believe best.' That is typical delusion. God, Truth, Reality, does not have to
believe anything. Reality knows. Besides, it might be asked, 'Honestly, now,
what is man's condition under his present method of taking sides?'
It takes great courage to let go of sides. It means one must no longer live by
the labels, which seemed to provide satisfaction and security. It means the end
of the false pleasure of battling with the opposite side.
Self-change means just one thing, self-change. Beneficial change cannot occur
through intellectual reasoning or analysis. It cannot happen, because all
thought is conditioned. It can only repeat what it has been taught to repeat,
based on distorted self-interest. Emerson says, You find men talking everywhere
from their memories, instead of from their understanding. This is a great Cosmic
Truth.
Either we believe in God or we know God. If we are to know God, we will have to
come fully into the present moment where God is. God is real. God is here now.
God is ever present. But we are not. Mostly we exist within the world of the
thinking mind, which is a world of the remembered past and imagined future. We
enter the world of the mind whenever we think. It is a world of thought, memory,
imagination, concept idea, opinion and belief. When we are in the world of the
mind, we are not here now and so we miss the truth of life and the truth of God,
which is always of the present moment.
Let's see how anxiety connects with a particular desire within a man: the desire
for excitement, thrills, and emotional sensations. The greater an individual's
enslavement to thrills, the more he suffers from an unsatisfying and unstable
life. Unhealthy desires can never be satisfied; they are a bottomless basket. We
escape our compulsive appetites only when we see them as such. It is a sure sign
of escape from the psychic torture chamber when we feel less and less compelled
to seek artificial stimulations.
You find out who you are in silence. Go there by not trying to take your own
thoughts with you.
People talk most about what they possess the least.
¶ 11/26/2001 07:09:00 AM
That which is not of our habitual nature has power to cure our habitual nature,
and is always ready to do so, whether we call it God, Truth, Reality, Cosmic
Energy or anything else.
You should never give up on Truth, for Truth never gives up on you.
A man who takes a side can never know the truth. Truth is above all man-made
sides and positions. Where there is Side A there must be Side B, which creates
conflict. Truth has nothing to do with conflict. This cosmic principle frightens
immature thinkers, for they take sides in order to gain feelings of importance
and individualism. They fight back by asking, 'How can life go on unless we
develop opposing sides? We can then select the features from both sides which we
believe best.' That is typical delusion. God, Truth, Reality, does not have to
believe anything. Reality knows. Besides, it might be asked, 'Honestly, now,
what is man's condition under his present method of taking sides?'
It takes great courage to let go of sides. It means one must no longer live by
the labels, which seemed to provide satisfaction and security. It means the end
of the false pleasure of battling with the opposite side.
Self-change means just one thing, self-change. Beneficial change cannot occur
through intellectual reasoning or analysis. It cannot happen, because all
thought is conditioned. It can only repeat what it has been taught to repeat,
based on distorted self-interest. Emerson says, You find men talking everywhere
from their memories, instead of from their understanding. This is a great Cosmic
Truth.
Either we believe in God or we know God. If we are to know God, we will have to
come fully into the present moment where God is. God is real. God is here now.
God is ever present. But we are not. Mostly we exist within the world of the
thinking mind, which is a world of the remembered past and imagined future. We
enter the world of the mind whenever we think. It is a world of thought, memory,
imagination, concept idea, opinion and belief. When we are in the world of the
mind, we are not here now and so we miss the truth of life and the truth of God,
which is always of the present moment.
Let's see how anxiety connects with a particular desire within a man: the desire
for excitement, thrills, and emotional sensations. The greater an individual's
enslavement to thrills, the more he suffers from an unsatisfying and unstable
life. Unhealthy desires can never be satisfied; they are a bottomless basket. We
escape our compulsive appetites only when we see them as such. It is a sure sign
of escape from the psychic torture chamber when we feel less and less compelled
to seek artificial stimulations.
You find out who you are in silence. Go there by not trying to take your own
thoughts with you.
People talk most about what they possess the least.
¶ 11/26/2001 07:09:00 AM
Sunday, November 25, 2001
Today's thought is:
Vulnerability
"I've learned that the more vulnerable I allow
myself to be, the more in control of myself I really
am."
--Anonymous
Many of us feel that we can only show our strong,
confident side. We believe the face we have to show
to the world should always be one of politeness,
perfection, calm, strength, and control.
While it is certainly good and often appropriate to
be in control, calm, and strong, there is another side
to all of us--that part of us that feels needy, becomes
frightened, has doubts, and gets angry. That part of
us that needs care, love, and reassurance that things
will be okay. Expressing these needs makes us
vulnerable and less than perfect, but this side needs
our acceptance too.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will help us
build lasting relationships. Sharing our
vulnerabilities helps us feel close to people and
helps others feel close to us. It helps us grow in self-
love and self-acceptance. It helps us become healing
agents. It allows us to become whole and accessible
to others.
Today, I will allow myself to be vulnerable with
others when it's safe and appropriate to do so ¶ 11/25/2001 11:53:00 AM
Vulnerability
"I've learned that the more vulnerable I allow
myself to be, the more in control of myself I really
am."
--Anonymous
Many of us feel that we can only show our strong,
confident side. We believe the face we have to show
to the world should always be one of politeness,
perfection, calm, strength, and control.
While it is certainly good and often appropriate to
be in control, calm, and strong, there is another side
to all of us--that part of us that feels needy, becomes
frightened, has doubts, and gets angry. That part of
us that needs care, love, and reassurance that things
will be okay. Expressing these needs makes us
vulnerable and less than perfect, but this side needs
our acceptance too.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable will help us
build lasting relationships. Sharing our
vulnerabilities helps us feel close to people and
helps others feel close to us. It helps us grow in self-
love and self-acceptance. It helps us become healing
agents. It allows us to become whole and accessible
to others.
Today, I will allow myself to be vulnerable with
others when it's safe and appropriate to do so ¶ 11/25/2001 11:53:00 AM
Thursday, November 22, 2001
Today's thought is:
Accepting powerlessness lightens our burden.
Coming to believe that we are not responsible for
solving anyone else's problems or making anyone
else's decisions frees us to pursue our own dreams
and aspirations with greater concentration. But it's
not easy to give up our control of other people. It's
how we thought we were supposed to live. Their
burdens had become ours.
We surely have lots more time to take care of
ourselves now that we have begun letting others be
in charge of themselves. But we have to watch out
for slipping back into our old controlling behaviors.
Ingrained habits are hard to change. We have to
learn how to savor the extra hours in our day now
that we only have ourselves to control. As our
accomplishments multiply, we'll find that letting
others take care of themselves will be easier.
I am in charge of myself. What do I want to
accomplish? I can begin right away.
¶ 11/22/2001 08:12:00 AM
Accepting powerlessness lightens our burden.
Coming to believe that we are not responsible for
solving anyone else's problems or making anyone
else's decisions frees us to pursue our own dreams
and aspirations with greater concentration. But it's
not easy to give up our control of other people. It's
how we thought we were supposed to live. Their
burdens had become ours.
We surely have lots more time to take care of
ourselves now that we have begun letting others be
in charge of themselves. But we have to watch out
for slipping back into our old controlling behaviors.
Ingrained habits are hard to change. We have to
learn how to savor the extra hours in our day now
that we only have ourselves to control. As our
accomplishments multiply, we'll find that letting
others take care of themselves will be easier.
I am in charge of myself. What do I want to
accomplish? I can begin right away.
¶ 11/22/2001 08:12:00 AM
Wednesday, November 21, 2001
Today's thought is:
Some days, every aspect of my life seems
overwhelming and crazy, and I feel so confused. On
these days, I need to remember that I only have to
do what needs to be done today. I do not have to
worry about next week, next month, or next year--
only what needs to be done today. I can make a list
of things to do. When I finish something on my list,
I can cross it off and feel proud of what I've
accomplished, even if it's as simple as doing the
dishes or making a phone call. When I accomplish
something, I can be proud of myself.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
¶ 11/21/2001 06:42:00 AM
Some days, every aspect of my life seems
overwhelming and crazy, and I feel so confused. On
these days, I need to remember that I only have to
do what needs to be done today. I do not have to
worry about next week, next month, or next year--
only what needs to be done today. I can make a list
of things to do. When I finish something on my list,
I can cross it off and feel proud of what I've
accomplished, even if it's as simple as doing the
dishes or making a phone call. When I accomplish
something, I can be proud of myself.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
¶ 11/21/2001 06:42:00 AM
Tuesday, November 20, 2001
Step Eight
Well, I still have made no effort's on doing Step 8! It's not that I don't want to or have any fear of it, it's just that so much other stuff is going on.
I am starting to feel better. The PEG Interferon treatment for my Hepatitis C seems to be relaxing some now. I don't know if it's just for a couple of days, just this week, or whatever. I'm just glad I'm not going through the same stuff I was. Maybe I can find time now to work this thing out.
I am not going to as many meetings at night like I was. I do go to my Noon mtg and the Club faithfully, but I guess since I am starting to feel better, I should start making an attempt to hit some evening mtgs, or at least get out of the house on the weekends! Ah well, it will all come together ;-)! ¶ 11/20/2001 08:05:00 AM
Well, I still have made no effort's on doing Step 8! It's not that I don't want to or have any fear of it, it's just that so much other stuff is going on.
I am starting to feel better. The PEG Interferon treatment for my Hepatitis C seems to be relaxing some now. I don't know if it's just for a couple of days, just this week, or whatever. I'm just glad I'm not going through the same stuff I was. Maybe I can find time now to work this thing out.
I am not going to as many meetings at night like I was. I do go to my Noon mtg and the Club faithfully, but I guess since I am starting to feel better, I should start making an attempt to hit some evening mtgs, or at least get out of the house on the weekends! Ah well, it will all come together ;-)! ¶ 11/20/2001 08:05:00 AM
Today's Thought is:
"Change your thoughts and you change your
world."
--Norman Vincent Peale
We learn from the Program that all of our lives are
made up of changes. Life for us can be like the
seasons of the year. The uncomfortable blizzards of
winter will pass. Spring brings flowers. Chattering
birds fill the air with song where once there was
wind, snow, and ice.
We know summer will follow spring. We learn to
take the bad with the good. Hardships can make us
stronger. Suffering cannot last forever. The key is to
see life with optimism. We know that the changing
of the seasons is like the changes in our lives.
When we use the Serenity Prayer, we may
occasionally lose sight of its meaning. We need to
concentrate on the differences between what we can
change and what we can't.
I trust and I believe that the changes in my recovery
life are like the changing of the seasons. They are
necessary and good for me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Easy Does It by copyright
available through
Hazelton's Bookstore
¶ 11/20/2001 08:00:00 AM
"Change your thoughts and you change your
world."
--Norman Vincent Peale
We learn from the Program that all of our lives are
made up of changes. Life for us can be like the
seasons of the year. The uncomfortable blizzards of
winter will pass. Spring brings flowers. Chattering
birds fill the air with song where once there was
wind, snow, and ice.
We know summer will follow spring. We learn to
take the bad with the good. Hardships can make us
stronger. Suffering cannot last forever. The key is to
see life with optimism. We know that the changing
of the seasons is like the changes in our lives.
When we use the Serenity Prayer, we may
occasionally lose sight of its meaning. We need to
concentrate on the differences between what we can
change and what we can't.
I trust and I believe that the changes in my recovery
life are like the changing of the seasons. They are
necessary and good for me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Easy Does It by copyright
available through
Hazelton's Bookstore
¶ 11/20/2001 08:00:00 AM
Monday, November 19, 2001
Today's thought is:
We have vitally important work...
This is an important day. It is one of the limited
number of days we are granted. We have vitally
important work to develop ourselves as human
beings, grow in our relationships, and contribute to
the well-being of other people. Each moment's
choice may be small, but it creates a direction for
the moment that follows. Each act has
consequences.
Perhaps we say, "I can't live like I choose today
because of all the demands on my time. I have so
many things to do! I can only keep putting one foot
in front of the other." Throughout life, we usually
have little choice about what kind of person we will
be and how we will face the demands. The
temptation to discard this day, or to numb our
mindfulness, or to grab for control will lead to
frustration and despair. We can live today the way
we want to live our whole life.
Make a choice now for the attitude you will bring to
the demands of today. ¶ 11/19/2001 08:08:00 AM
We have vitally important work...
This is an important day. It is one of the limited
number of days we are granted. We have vitally
important work to develop ourselves as human
beings, grow in our relationships, and contribute to
the well-being of other people. Each moment's
choice may be small, but it creates a direction for
the moment that follows. Each act has
consequences.
Perhaps we say, "I can't live like I choose today
because of all the demands on my time. I have so
many things to do! I can only keep putting one foot
in front of the other." Throughout life, we usually
have little choice about what kind of person we will
be and how we will face the demands. The
temptation to discard this day, or to numb our
mindfulness, or to grab for control will lead to
frustration and despair. We can live today the way
we want to live our whole life.
Make a choice now for the attitude you will bring to
the demands of today. ¶ 11/19/2001 08:08:00 AM
Saturday, November 17, 2001
Today's thought is:
The familiarity of isolation is both haunting and
inviting. In our separateness we contemplate the
joys of shared hours with others while seeking the
freedom from the pain that likewise hovers on the
heels of intimate relationships. The question
eternally whispering around our souls is, "Do I dare
let you in, to share my space, to know my heart's
longing, to feel my fears?" Only when we trust to
say yes will we find the peace our souls long for.
Passage through the doors that separates us, frees us
to change, to grow, to love ourselves and others. We
must plant our feet in the soil of shared lives to
quiet our longing.
* * * * * * * * * * ¶ 11/17/2001 09:29:00 AM
The familiarity of isolation is both haunting and
inviting. In our separateness we contemplate the
joys of shared hours with others while seeking the
freedom from the pain that likewise hovers on the
heels of intimate relationships. The question
eternally whispering around our souls is, "Do I dare
let you in, to share my space, to know my heart's
longing, to feel my fears?" Only when we trust to
say yes will we find the peace our souls long for.
Passage through the doors that separates us, frees us
to change, to grow, to love ourselves and others. We
must plant our feet in the soil of shared lives to
quiet our longing.
* * * * * * * * * * ¶ 11/17/2001 09:29:00 AM
Tuesday, November 13, 2001
I'm TIRED
Went to a noon mtg. I am suppose to be working on my 8th step but haven't done a thing. I am so lazy. ¶ 11/13/2001 04:40:00 PM
Went to a noon mtg. I am suppose to be working on my 8th step but haven't done a thing. I am so lazy. ¶ 11/13/2001 04:40:00 PM
Monday, November 12, 2001
Day off
We went to church yesterday. It was a long service. I am home today. Veteran's Day. Gonna spend it in bed. LOLOLOL ¶ 11/12/2001 09:25:00 AM
We went to church yesterday. It was a long service. I am home today. Veteran's Day. Gonna spend it in bed. LOLOLOL ¶ 11/12/2001 09:25:00 AM
Today's thought is:
Recognizing opportunities
Today is a day of opportunity. Any experiences that
we have today--good or bad--can be seen as
opportunities, opportunities to grow closer to God.
As bread is food for the body, opportunities are
food for the soul.
Do I see all the opportunities in my daily life? Do I
take advantage of them?
I pray that I may use my experiences as
opportunities to grow closer to God.
Today I will look for opportunities by:
¶ 11/12/2001 09:13:00 AM
Recognizing opportunities
Today is a day of opportunity. Any experiences that
we have today--good or bad--can be seen as
opportunities, opportunities to grow closer to God.
As bread is food for the body, opportunities are
food for the soul.
Do I see all the opportunities in my daily life? Do I
take advantage of them?
I pray that I may use my experiences as
opportunities to grow closer to God.
Today I will look for opportunities by:
¶ 11/12/2001 09:13:00 AM
Saturday, November 10, 2001
Today's thought is:
"When we can harmonize our personal desires with
God's larger plan for us...we find true pleasure."
--Dorothy Pierson
There is a specific design for our life, one that
mingles comfortably at times with God's plans for
friends who are traveling our same path. Most of us,
however, have to struggle to keep our ego in
harmony with God's plan. We frequently get self-
centered and then feel confusion about what the
plan is. The doors that close and the conflicts with
others that surface are indications that we've gotten
off course. And, at those moments, life is no longer
a pleasure.
We all want to feel peaceful and we want to
experience pleasure. And we can! We simply must
open ourselves to God's constant messages about
the direction that is right for us to take and the steps
we're to make. We'll find true pleasure from living
when we've allowed ourselves to know God's plan
and have adjusted our desires accordingly.
God's plan for my life is no mystery unless I choose
to see it that way. Simply thinking of God can
reveal today's plan to me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
In God's Care by Karen Casey copyright 1991
¶ 11/10/2001 07:28:00 AM
"When we can harmonize our personal desires with
God's larger plan for us...we find true pleasure."
--Dorothy Pierson
There is a specific design for our life, one that
mingles comfortably at times with God's plans for
friends who are traveling our same path. Most of us,
however, have to struggle to keep our ego in
harmony with God's plan. We frequently get self-
centered and then feel confusion about what the
plan is. The doors that close and the conflicts with
others that surface are indications that we've gotten
off course. And, at those moments, life is no longer
a pleasure.
We all want to feel peaceful and we want to
experience pleasure. And we can! We simply must
open ourselves to God's constant messages about
the direction that is right for us to take and the steps
we're to make. We'll find true pleasure from living
when we've allowed ourselves to know God's plan
and have adjusted our desires accordingly.
God's plan for my life is no mystery unless I choose
to see it that way. Simply thinking of God can
reveal today's plan to me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
In God's Care by Karen Casey copyright 1991
¶ 11/10/2001 07:28:00 AM
Friday, November 09, 2001
E Mail
Occasionally I get an encouraging email from someone who has read one of my blogs and I can not begin to tell you how wonderful that is! Thank you! ¶ 11/09/2001 07:07:00 AM
Occasionally I get an encouraging email from someone who has read one of my blogs and I can not begin to tell you how wonderful that is! Thank you! ¶ 11/09/2001 07:07:00 AM
Thursday, November 08, 2001
Today's thought is:
"We find it hard to believe that other people's
thoughts are as silly as our own, but they probably
are."
--James Harvey Robinson
What a boost our self-confidence would get if we
could listen in on other people's thoughts!
Particularly those people we imagine are so much
wiser, more sophisticated, or more accomplished
than we. How surprised we would be--not to
mention amused--to find their mental ramblings so
ordinary, random, and trivial. So much like our
own!
Humanity is a common bond. Both kings and
servants have stomachs that get hungry, backs that
sometimes itch, and minds that wander a good bit of
the time. As children of God, we all have dignity
and limitless potential for spiritual growth, but our
feet are rooted in clay. No matter how high or low
we rank on any social scale, our human foibles and
frailties make us a lot more alike than different.
The wonderful Wizard of Oz, if we remember,
turned out to be a nervous little man shouting
through a megaphone. He wasn't braver than the
Lion or smarter than the Scarecrow or more loving
than the Tin Man. He was just like them; his
wizardry was all illusion. Much of the superiority
we accord to others is illusion, too.
I share common characteristics with every person
who walks the earth.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Believing in Myself by Earnie Larsen and Carol Hegarty copyright 1991 ¶ 11/08/2001 07:36:00 AM
"We find it hard to believe that other people's
thoughts are as silly as our own, but they probably
are."
--James Harvey Robinson
What a boost our self-confidence would get if we
could listen in on other people's thoughts!
Particularly those people we imagine are so much
wiser, more sophisticated, or more accomplished
than we. How surprised we would be--not to
mention amused--to find their mental ramblings so
ordinary, random, and trivial. So much like our
own!
Humanity is a common bond. Both kings and
servants have stomachs that get hungry, backs that
sometimes itch, and minds that wander a good bit of
the time. As children of God, we all have dignity
and limitless potential for spiritual growth, but our
feet are rooted in clay. No matter how high or low
we rank on any social scale, our human foibles and
frailties make us a lot more alike than different.
The wonderful Wizard of Oz, if we remember,
turned out to be a nervous little man shouting
through a megaphone. He wasn't braver than the
Lion or smarter than the Scarecrow or more loving
than the Tin Man. He was just like them; his
wizardry was all illusion. Much of the superiority
we accord to others is illusion, too.
I share common characteristics with every person
who walks the earth.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Believing in Myself by Earnie Larsen and Carol Hegarty copyright 1991 ¶ 11/08/2001 07:36:00 AM
Wednesday, November 07, 2001
Treatment (Pegalated Interferon and Rebetol)
I have found the treatment I take for my Hepatitis C and Cirrhosis is the PITS. I stay tired all the time, and have really strange physical and mental side effects. The one thing that I can be grateful for is that I am in A.A. The same way that the fellowship, the steps, and God has helped through my Alcoholism, it is now helping me to make it through this troubled time during my treatment.
I started obsessing about going home and laying down Monday. That was ALL I could think about. I called the Doc and he upped my Paxil from 20mg to 40mg. I just wish he would have let me stay home. I'm kind of glad he didn't though, because it would be really easy to get in my bed and just stay there. I like it a LOT.
The worst part, I think, is that no one can really understand what I am going through. Leroy (my husband) understands and the folks at the Delphi Forums understand, but normal folks just can't believe that a medicine the Doc gives you could have these side effects. It's kind of funny if you think about it. I told my boss.......I have to go home and lay down right now, I'm coming out of my skin. Now how the hell is she suppose to understand that LOLOLOLOL. ¶ 11/07/2001 07:57:00 AM
I have found the treatment I take for my Hepatitis C and Cirrhosis is the PITS. I stay tired all the time, and have really strange physical and mental side effects. The one thing that I can be grateful for is that I am in A.A. The same way that the fellowship, the steps, and God has helped through my Alcoholism, it is now helping me to make it through this troubled time during my treatment.
I started obsessing about going home and laying down Monday. That was ALL I could think about. I called the Doc and he upped my Paxil from 20mg to 40mg. I just wish he would have let me stay home. I'm kind of glad he didn't though, because it would be really easy to get in my bed and just stay there. I like it a LOT.
The worst part, I think, is that no one can really understand what I am going through. Leroy (my husband) understands and the folks at the Delphi Forums understand, but normal folks just can't believe that a medicine the Doc gives you could have these side effects. It's kind of funny if you think about it. I told my boss.......I have to go home and lay down right now, I'm coming out of my skin. Now how the hell is she suppose to understand that LOLOLOLOL. ¶ 11/07/2001 07:57:00 AM
Today's thought is:
"To wait for someone else, or to expect someone
else to make my life richer, or fuller, or more
satisfying, puts me in a constant state of suspension;
and I miss all those moments that pass. They never
come back to be experienced again."
--Kathleen Tierney Crilly
The steps we are taking today will never again be
taken in exactly the same way. The thoughts we are
thinking are fresh, never to be repeated. All that
these moments offer will never pass our way again.
We each have to grab our own happiness, create our
own richness through experiences. We may share
what we capture with loved ones, but like us, they
too must search their own avenues for the
satisfaction that lasts. We can neither give
happiness to another, like a gift, nor expect it in
return.
The fullness of life we all long for is the natural
byproduct of living every moment as fully as
possible. Our higher power will never direct us into
waters too deep. When we have willingly turned our
lives and our wills over, we'll find an abundance of
the rich, the full, the satisfying. Faith in God
answers all questions, solves all problems.
I will cherish every moment today. Each one is
special and will not visit me again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey copyright 1982, 1991
¶ 11/07/2001 07:49:00 AM
"To wait for someone else, or to expect someone
else to make my life richer, or fuller, or more
satisfying, puts me in a constant state of suspension;
and I miss all those moments that pass. They never
come back to be experienced again."
--Kathleen Tierney Crilly
The steps we are taking today will never again be
taken in exactly the same way. The thoughts we are
thinking are fresh, never to be repeated. All that
these moments offer will never pass our way again.
We each have to grab our own happiness, create our
own richness through experiences. We may share
what we capture with loved ones, but like us, they
too must search their own avenues for the
satisfaction that lasts. We can neither give
happiness to another, like a gift, nor expect it in
return.
The fullness of life we all long for is the natural
byproduct of living every moment as fully as
possible. Our higher power will never direct us into
waters too deep. When we have willingly turned our
lives and our wills over, we'll find an abundance of
the rich, the full, the satisfying. Faith in God
answers all questions, solves all problems.
I will cherish every moment today. Each one is
special and will not visit me again.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey copyright 1982, 1991
¶ 11/07/2001 07:49:00 AM
Monday, November 05, 2001
Today's thought is:
"Roots nourish, give us life and bind us safely to
earth. Plant them well."
--Anonymous
All trees have different root systems. The pine
grows quickly, with shallow roots that spread in
every direction. A maple is a slow-growing tree,
whose roots run deeper, seeking out moisture far
into the earth. Both root systems give life, but when
the weather turns stormy and the wind howls
through the branches, the maple, with its deeper
roots, will hold fast. Though the pine grows faster
and needs only surface moisture, it cannot withstand
the storm as well.
We often want things immediately. We want to play
the piano, but only if we can learn it fast. We want
others to love us right away, or we'll give up on
them. If something we're doing doesn't go just so
right from the start, we give up.
But the permanent things in life take time to
develop. If we want our relationships, our skills, our
accomplishments, to resist the storms we all
encounter, we must allow time for them to grow and
deepen within us, and marvel, in the meantime, at
how much we can learn from the world around us.
What deep roots am I setting down right now?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Today's Gift by Anonymous copyright 1985, 1991
available through Hazelton's online bookstore at:
Hazelton
¶ 11/05/2001 08:31:00 AM
"Roots nourish, give us life and bind us safely to
earth. Plant them well."
--Anonymous
All trees have different root systems. The pine
grows quickly, with shallow roots that spread in
every direction. A maple is a slow-growing tree,
whose roots run deeper, seeking out moisture far
into the earth. Both root systems give life, but when
the weather turns stormy and the wind howls
through the branches, the maple, with its deeper
roots, will hold fast. Though the pine grows faster
and needs only surface moisture, it cannot withstand
the storm as well.
We often want things immediately. We want to play
the piano, but only if we can learn it fast. We want
others to love us right away, or we'll give up on
them. If something we're doing doesn't go just so
right from the start, we give up.
But the permanent things in life take time to
develop. If we want our relationships, our skills, our
accomplishments, to resist the storms we all
encounter, we must allow time for them to grow and
deepen within us, and marvel, in the meantime, at
how much we can learn from the world around us.
What deep roots am I setting down right now?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Today's Gift by Anonymous copyright 1985, 1991
available through Hazelton's online bookstore at:
Hazelton
¶ 11/05/2001 08:31:00 AM
Saturday, November 03, 2001
Today's thought from Hazelton is:
"I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content."
--Walt Whitman
When we're feeling low and we're afraid we aren't
good enough, we can practice self-affirmation--
active, positive self-acceptance. We can affirm, "I
am what I am."
Daily doses of "I am what I am" therapy is an
antidote to the poison of perfectionism. Many of us
grew up believing that approval depended on what
we did. And we could never do enough, good
enough. So today, we still worry that we aren't
acceptable, that we are never finished, presentable,
good enough.
As we practice self-acceptance, we let go of that old
anxiety. The more we tell ourselves we are fine just
the way we are, the less worry we have about what
others think. We become less self-conscious, more
relaxed. We discover that people like us just the
way we are.
All day long, whether I am conscious of it or not, I
will receive positive messages that say, "I am
perfect today in every way."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
The Color of Light by Perry Tilleraas copyright 1988
¶ 11/03/2001 07:14:00 AM
"I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content."
--Walt Whitman
When we're feeling low and we're afraid we aren't
good enough, we can practice self-affirmation--
active, positive self-acceptance. We can affirm, "I
am what I am."
Daily doses of "I am what I am" therapy is an
antidote to the poison of perfectionism. Many of us
grew up believing that approval depended on what
we did. And we could never do enough, good
enough. So today, we still worry that we aren't
acceptable, that we are never finished, presentable,
good enough.
As we practice self-acceptance, we let go of that old
anxiety. The more we tell ourselves we are fine just
the way we are, the less worry we have about what
others think. We become less self-conscious, more
relaxed. We discover that people like us just the
way we are.
All day long, whether I am conscious of it or not, I
will receive positive messages that say, "I am
perfect today in every way."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
The Color of Light by Perry Tilleraas copyright 1988
¶ 11/03/2001 07:14:00 AM
Friday, November 02, 2001
TGIF
¶ 11/02/2001 08:19:00 AM
Today's thought is:
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in
seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."
--Marcel Proust
How have we felt when we return to our
hometowns, childhood homes, old playgrounds, or
high schools after years of absence? Suddenly each
place isn't as it once seemed because we're looking
through the eyes of someone older and changed.
Where we once saw our high school through the
eyes of students, we now look at it through the eyes
of adults--in a much different way.
So it is with all areas of our lives: our jobs, homes,
families, friends, or partners. Many of these people
and places haven't changed for a long time. Yet, we
change every day. Instead of seeing our job as the
same old job or our home as the same old home, we
can start to look at them differently.
Tonight we don't need to change things on the
outside to feel better on the inside. We can change
how we look at things from the inside out. We can
start to see who and what are outside of us as if we
were looking at them for the first time. Tonight the
ho-hums in our lives can turn into ah-has just by
changing the way we see them.
There may be many things in my life that haven't
changed, but I'm not one of them. Tonight I can see
them all with new eyes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Night Light by Amy E. Dean copyright 1986
¶ 11/02/2001 08:19:00 AM
"The real voyage of discovery consists not in
seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."
--Marcel Proust
How have we felt when we return to our
hometowns, childhood homes, old playgrounds, or
high schools after years of absence? Suddenly each
place isn't as it once seemed because we're looking
through the eyes of someone older and changed.
Where we once saw our high school through the
eyes of students, we now look at it through the eyes
of adults--in a much different way.
So it is with all areas of our lives: our jobs, homes,
families, friends, or partners. Many of these people
and places haven't changed for a long time. Yet, we
change every day. Instead of seeing our job as the
same old job or our home as the same old home, we
can start to look at them differently.
Tonight we don't need to change things on the
outside to feel better on the inside. We can change
how we look at things from the inside out. We can
start to see who and what are outside of us as if we
were looking at them for the first time. Tonight the
ho-hums in our lives can turn into ah-has just by
changing the way we see them.
There may be many things in my life that haven't
changed, but I'm not one of them. Tonight I can see
them all with new eyes.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Night Light by Amy E. Dean copyright 1986
¶ 11/02/2001 08:19:00 AM
Thursday, November 01, 2001
PEG
Well it has been 5 weeks since I started treatment. Almost one week since I switched from the regular Interferon/Riba combo to the Pegalated Interferon/Rebetol combo. The side effects seem to have been more tolerable with the old stuff. I have more drastic mood swings now, and these weird hot spots that I believe to be caused by the Rebetol which is the same thing as Ribavirin. They, actually, are not as bad as they were before. I was taking 5 pills a day and for some reason he took me down to 4 pills a day. Anyway, the hot spots just start getting hot. They can be on my side or my neck, or my eyes, or my stomach area. They are warm to the touch, and after a while go away.
I never have a temp, but feel like I have a temp a lot. I get so exhausted I can hardly move. But I really don't care. Now, if you think that sounds weird, try living it! ¶ 11/01/2001 03:33:00 PM
Well it has been 5 weeks since I started treatment. Almost one week since I switched from the regular Interferon/Riba combo to the Pegalated Interferon/Rebetol combo. The side effects seem to have been more tolerable with the old stuff. I have more drastic mood swings now, and these weird hot spots that I believe to be caused by the Rebetol which is the same thing as Ribavirin. They, actually, are not as bad as they were before. I was taking 5 pills a day and for some reason he took me down to 4 pills a day. Anyway, the hot spots just start getting hot. They can be on my side or my neck, or my eyes, or my stomach area. They are warm to the touch, and after a while go away.
I never have a temp, but feel like I have a temp a lot. I get so exhausted I can hardly move. But I really don't care. Now, if you think that sounds weird, try living it! ¶ 11/01/2001 03:33:00 PM
Today's thought is:
"If the only prayer you say in your whole life is
'thank you,' that would suffice."
--Meister Eckhart
"An attitude of gratitude," we sometimes hear, will
help us on our path. There certainly are enough
things for us to worry about, grieve over, and
complain about. They have their place. But as we
mature and no longer use addictive escapes, we
learn that joy can exist side by side with grief.
Gratitude is a tonic for our self-pity. Saying "thank
you" actually opens us to receive more of life's
blessings which sit there waiting for us to notice.
In a pleasant moment we can look around and say,
"Aren't we lucky!" That's a kind of prayer, and it
connects us with our Higher Power. No matter how
painful or worrisome a day may be, we can be
thankful for our growth. Gratitude is so simple we
sometimes dismiss it while looking for a more
complicated answer in our lives. We can say "thank
you" for all the simple things like trees, cool air,
food to eat, and love between people. It is a risk to
be so grateful. Who will be in control? Perhaps
God.
God, thank you for all that comes to me without my
efforts.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Touchstones by Anonymous copyright 1986
available through Hazelton's online bookstore at:
Hazelton Book
¶ 11/01/2001 08:29:00 AM
"If the only prayer you say in your whole life is
'thank you,' that would suffice."
--Meister Eckhart
"An attitude of gratitude," we sometimes hear, will
help us on our path. There certainly are enough
things for us to worry about, grieve over, and
complain about. They have their place. But as we
mature and no longer use addictive escapes, we
learn that joy can exist side by side with grief.
Gratitude is a tonic for our self-pity. Saying "thank
you" actually opens us to receive more of life's
blessings which sit there waiting for us to notice.
In a pleasant moment we can look around and say,
"Aren't we lucky!" That's a kind of prayer, and it
connects us with our Higher Power. No matter how
painful or worrisome a day may be, we can be
thankful for our growth. Gratitude is so simple we
sometimes dismiss it while looking for a more
complicated answer in our lives. We can say "thank
you" for all the simple things like trees, cool air,
food to eat, and love between people. It is a risk to
be so grateful. Who will be in control? Perhaps
God.
God, thank you for all that comes to me without my
efforts.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Today's meditation comes from the book
Touchstones by Anonymous copyright 1986
available through Hazelton's online bookstore at:
Hazelton Book
¶ 11/01/2001 08:29:00 AM
