My 12 Step Program
Sunday, September 30, 2001
Fourth Step Seminar
Lots of stuff happening in relation to my HCV and my 12 step program. I started my treatment Friday night which includes giving myself a shot of Interferon and taking 5 Rebetol pills a day. I will be taking the shot 3 times a week until the new once a week shot is in the stores. The shot is can have devastating side effects, and I was mentally prepared, but I prayed for myself (which I usually don't do) and God heard me and had mercy on me. I had minimal side effects which included a high temp that I slept through. My husband woke me saying I was "burning up" and gave me some aspirin. I had up and down feelings yesterday, but all was tolerable. Today feels pretty much normal.
I went to a 4th Step Seminar yesterday, through it all. It lasted 3 and a half hours and was great. It worked out well (the timing), since I am just finishing my 4th step and scheduled to do my 5th tomorrow. Anyway, a friend of mine on one of the Delphi forum mentioned it after I told him about it, and I wrote him such a long post back that I thought I would include it here since it pretty much sums up how I feel..............
It wasn't a regular meeting, it was an actual seminar. The 4th step is where you write out your resentments, fears, and who you have harmed. Figuring out your role in all of it, the "whys". It's kind of important it's done right, because the 5th step is where you share it all with your sponsor (kind of a confessional). It's an unburdening process. You learn your character defects and that allows you to start working on them (in partnership with God-or whoever a person's higher power is).
So this seminar taught how to do that correctly. It's not an easy process although folks say it is. I found out that I am prideful, and NO I really never thought of myself in that way.
When I decided to that alchohol had screwed everything up (including my health), and I realized that (although I said I was going to) I wasn't really able to totally stop on my own....I became ready to do WHATEVER it took to stop. In the process, I get to learn how to live a better life. Pretty good deal if you ask me.
I felt the same way when I found out that I have Cirrhosis. I became willing to do WHATEVER it took to live longer, which includes all the milk thistle, TX, etc. Can you tell I feel better today ;-)!!
I know I got off light for my first shot, and I thank God for that. I also realize that things are gonna pop up. I, too, realize that because I'm a 1a with liver enzymes that are too tired to go up anymore, that my chances on the tx are less than most. But I am READY and willing for whatever it takes.
That is my sermon for the day!!!!!! ¶ 9/30/2001 08:09:00 AM
Lots of stuff happening in relation to my HCV and my 12 step program. I started my treatment Friday night which includes giving myself a shot of Interferon and taking 5 Rebetol pills a day. I will be taking the shot 3 times a week until the new once a week shot is in the stores. The shot is can have devastating side effects, and I was mentally prepared, but I prayed for myself (which I usually don't do) and God heard me and had mercy on me. I had minimal side effects which included a high temp that I slept through. My husband woke me saying I was "burning up" and gave me some aspirin. I had up and down feelings yesterday, but all was tolerable. Today feels pretty much normal.
I went to a 4th Step Seminar yesterday, through it all. It lasted 3 and a half hours and was great. It worked out well (the timing), since I am just finishing my 4th step and scheduled to do my 5th tomorrow. Anyway, a friend of mine on one of the Delphi forum mentioned it after I told him about it, and I wrote him such a long post back that I thought I would include it here since it pretty much sums up how I feel..............
It wasn't a regular meeting, it was an actual seminar. The 4th step is where you write out your resentments, fears, and who you have harmed. Figuring out your role in all of it, the "whys". It's kind of important it's done right, because the 5th step is where you share it all with your sponsor (kind of a confessional). It's an unburdening process. You learn your character defects and that allows you to start working on them (in partnership with God-or whoever a person's higher power is).
So this seminar taught how to do that correctly. It's not an easy process although folks say it is. I found out that I am prideful, and NO I really never thought of myself in that way.
When I decided to that alchohol had screwed everything up (including my health), and I realized that (although I said I was going to) I wasn't really able to totally stop on my own....I became ready to do WHATEVER it took to stop. In the process, I get to learn how to live a better life. Pretty good deal if you ask me.
I felt the same way when I found out that I have Cirrhosis. I became willing to do WHATEVER it took to live longer, which includes all the milk thistle, TX, etc. Can you tell I feel better today ;-)!!
I know I got off light for my first shot, and I thank God for that. I also realize that things are gonna pop up. I, too, realize that because I'm a 1a with liver enzymes that are too tired to go up anymore, that my chances on the tx are less than most. But I am READY and willing for whatever it takes.
That is my sermon for the day!!!!!! ¶ 9/30/2001 08:09:00 AM
Saturday, September 29, 2001
Thursday, September 27, 2001
I start treatment for my stuff tomorrow.
¶ 9/27/2001 08:05:00 PM
Wednesday, September 26, 2001
Tuesday, September 25, 2001
I am not going to get into what's going on amoung doctor's and people who have Hepatitis C but we are all waiting for a drug to come out that they MAKE here at Fisher's SPS .
¶ 9/25/2001 05:22:00 PM
Monday, September 24, 2001
Sunday, September 23, 2001
Saturday, September 22, 2001
Can you believe all this AA stuff I have found!!! Here are meetings at Sober Friends 12 Step Meetings on Paltalk
¶ 9/22/2001 07:50:00 PM
Friday, September 21, 2001
Derek P. Apanovitch, Religion And Rehabilitation: The Requisition Of God By The State, 47 Duke L. J. 785 (February 1998)
¶ 9/21/2001 08:12:00 PM
Thursday, September 20, 2001
These are some good Google Web Directory - Health > Substance Abuse > Alcoholism > Support Groups > Alcoholics Anonymous links.
¶ 9/20/2001 08:09:00 AM
Wednesday, September 19, 2001
I found this great 12 Step Cyber Cafe Chat Room. Met a nice person from across the state! Hi Dave!
¶ 9/19/2001 08:03:00 PM
Acceptance
I went to the 301 House's 6 p.m. meeting tonight. It was good, I think I will try to make it over there more often. The subject was acceptance. The Serenity Prayer is the epitamy of acceptance isn't it?!?
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. ¶ 9/19/2001 07:43:00 PM
I went to the 301 House's 6 p.m. meeting tonight. It was good, I think I will try to make it over there more often. The subject was acceptance. The Serenity Prayer is the epitamy of acceptance isn't it?!?
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. ¶ 9/19/2001 07:43:00 PM
Tuesday, September 18, 2001
Fears
Okay, on my 4th Step, I have finished listing my fears. Now that they are down on paper, I don't feel so bad about it anymore. I am not feeling well, as I indicated in my "day to day blog". I am going to go to a meeting at the detox center tonight. That will probably make me feel better. ¶ 9/18/2001 06:35:00 PM
Okay, on my 4th Step, I have finished listing my fears. Now that they are down on paper, I don't feel so bad about it anymore. I am not feeling well, as I indicated in my "day to day blog". I am going to go to a meeting at the detox center tonight. That will probably make me feel better. ¶ 9/18/2001 06:35:00 PM
Saturday, September 15, 2001
It has been a while since I have posted here, but with all that has gone on I think that is understandable. Our country attacked, possibly going to war, a large tropical storm going through Tampa Bay (although that should not be compared to the Attack on our Nation).
I have started taking herbs to assist in my liver's recovery and I seem to be feeling better. In addition to that, I have bought a juicer and am attempting to juice carrots and others veggies. I am cutting way back on my meat consumption. No beef or pork if I can help it. I do want to eat up what's in the freezer though, although at this point I think I would feel guilty, and it might make me feel bad.
I plan on going whole hog into finishing my 4th Step next week. I really want to go to a meeting, but Leroy and the boys are out and I have the girls here. I think I can probably make an 8:15 p.m. meeting tonight.
¶ 9/15/2001 04:15:00 PM
Monday, September 10, 2001
Sunday, September 09, 2001
Saturday, September 08, 2001
I am planning my attack on what is affectionatly call "The Dragon" I am going to start by beginning to follow this Hepatitis Diet. I am going to take herbs, and vitamins. I have purchased a juicer, and I am going to drink 3 eight ounce glasses of carrott juice a day. I am going to eat foods high in Fiber adding Milled Flax Seed. I may live to be 100 after all ;-)
¶ 9/08/2001 06:54:00 PM
Friday, September 07, 2001
AA
Can you believe I didn't even post on my 90th Day???? It was great though. This guy I like was chairing the meeting, and everyone who has been there in the last three months seemed to show up. The guy who was passing out chips was the same guy who gave me my white chip. He's a good guy too, and he has Hep C as well. You sure can't tell it though. When I found out I had cirrhosis I talked to him, and he told me his Dr. told him not to worry that his bad heart would kill him before the Hep C would.
This whole week has been pretty good though. My sponsor is on vacation and I didn't even really know she was going, but I have my friend Susan and we seem to talk more than my sponsor and I do. I think I shocked her the other day with some "bad language" when I was mad a Leroy, but she acted like it didn't affect her and I was still embarrassed once it came out of my mouth ;-).
Now I find myself wishing I could smoke pot. I am going to have to talk to Susan about it tomorrow I guess. Or bring it out in a meeting. It's a requirement to tell on yourself ;-). I may try to hit an early meeting and get some house work done. First things first ;-) ¶ 9/07/2001 09:42:00 PM
Can you believe I didn't even post on my 90th Day???? It was great though. This guy I like was chairing the meeting, and everyone who has been there in the last three months seemed to show up. The guy who was passing out chips was the same guy who gave me my white chip. He's a good guy too, and he has Hep C as well. You sure can't tell it though. When I found out I had cirrhosis I talked to him, and he told me his Dr. told him not to worry that his bad heart would kill him before the Hep C would.
This whole week has been pretty good though. My sponsor is on vacation and I didn't even really know she was going, but I have my friend Susan and we seem to talk more than my sponsor and I do. I think I shocked her the other day with some "bad language" when I was mad a Leroy, but she acted like it didn't affect her and I was still embarrassed once it came out of my mouth ;-).
Now I find myself wishing I could smoke pot. I am going to have to talk to Susan about it tomorrow I guess. Or bring it out in a meeting. It's a requirement to tell on yourself ;-). I may try to hit an early meeting and get some house work done. First things first ;-) ¶ 9/07/2001 09:42:00 PM
Monday, September 03, 2001
Guess What Tomorrow Is?!?!?!?!?!?!
¶ 9/03/2001 10:45:00 AM
Saturday, September 01, 2001
This Day
I haven't been to a mtg in 3 days. I guess I need to get up and go to one tonight, but I am pretty tired. I feel serene though, even though the stuff I found out on the Hepatitis Central Website is pretty depressing. I wonder how long I have had cirrhosis? That counts you know. It all counts. Every thing counts now-a-days..........every day counts and it is important that I make each day count. Oh, now I am giving myself resposibility for making each day count.
You know the only thing I don't like about this blogging things is that if I am gone, there is nothing for the children to hold on to. These parts of me I put here.......I really want to have then in hard copy. I guess I can print them out and make a book. Maybe that's what I will do. Do you think I should go to the 8:15 meeting? It's 7 p.m. now here in sunny Tampa Bay. ¶ 9/01/2001 07:08:00 PM
I haven't been to a mtg in 3 days. I guess I need to get up and go to one tonight, but I am pretty tired. I feel serene though, even though the stuff I found out on the Hepatitis Central Website is pretty depressing. I wonder how long I have had cirrhosis? That counts you know. It all counts. Every thing counts now-a-days..........every day counts and it is important that I make each day count. Oh, now I am giving myself resposibility for making each day count.
You know the only thing I don't like about this blogging things is that if I am gone, there is nothing for the children to hold on to. These parts of me I put here.......I really want to have then in hard copy. I guess I can print them out and make a book. Maybe that's what I will do. Do you think I should go to the 8:15 meeting? It's 7 p.m. now here in sunny Tampa Bay. ¶ 9/01/2001 07:08:00 PM
